Testimonials of Women
Who Have Had Abortions
- I was told
"that I would be out for 8 minutes and I
would feel only a little discomfort afterwards
(they lied, it ruined 10 years of my life)"
(thats what they call it). They put us on
gurneys and put us through like cattle on a
conveyer belt. So sad.
- They never
explained anything about the procedure or let me
see the baby. They gave me no alternatives and
never mentioned how killing my baby would affect
- I was 18 when I
got pregnant. At three months pregnant I had an
abortion. About seven years later I was listening
to a Christian radio broadcast. It described an
unborn child during an abortion procedure. It
talked about the babys frantic attempts to
escape the tools of the abortionist and how the
childs heartbeat accelerated as it sensed
apparent danger. My heart broke. I was so
overcome with grief. How could I have taken the
life of my unborn child?
- About seven years
later I married a wonderful man. Five months
later, surprise! Im pregnant. I had always
longed to be a wife and mother. Now my dream was
going to come true.
- The pregnancy was
going well but 21 ½ weeks into my pregnancy I
went into labor. I gave birth to a little boy. He
lived three hours. The doctor said there was
nothing they could do. He was too small. We named
him David Nathan. I had imagined us feeding the
ducks, playing in the park, but instead I was
- In the book,
"What to Expect When Youre
Expecting", I came across information that
said a miscarriage in the fifth month could be
due to previous abortions.
- It said that I
understood there was a probability or a
possibility that I might not go on to have
children. That meant I wouldnt be a parent.
- Women need to know
the facts regarding abortion. If I could share my
story, then others might be spared the heartbreak
that I have had to go through. If we remain
silent the other side wins. There are many more
like me. If more people come forward the truth
cant be denied. And confession is good for
- Below is part of
the information from the "Release Form"
that Tewannah signed for her abortion:
Operation, Anesthetics and Other Medical Services
I authorize the
performance upon Tewannah Harper of the following
operation Therapeutic Vacuum Curettage
*** It has been
explained to me, and I am aware, that I may be sterile as
a result of this operation and that I may no longer have
menstrual periods, although no such result is warranteed
or guaranteed. I know that a sterile person is incapable
of becoming a parent, and in giving consent to this
operation I have in mind the probability or possibility
of such a result.
- Panic in my heart.
Knowing it was too late.
- What have I done?
What kind of person could do this? I want it all
to do over, Please God. Obsessed with how
old my child would be what he looked like,
if he forgave me. Hatred for myself, for being
weak. Anger at boyfriend for not being white
knight and saying "its all going to be
o.k., I love you, I will love this baby, together
well make it work." Now, I cried
hysterically most times and my arms would ache so
terribly from agonizing to hold that child that
Id hug a teddy bear just to have something
- An abortion can
take your baby from your body but never
from your heart.
- It helped me to
seek the face of Jesus through His word and He
has turned my sorrow into joy.
- Please understand
that by aborting your unborn child that does not
make the baby go away. Your baby will be in your
heart until you die. After abortion the
guilt and shame and loneliness is horrible. Once
you abort, you cannot go back and change it.
- Women and men need
to know the truth!
- I was an emotional
wreck. The following day I was empty, sad, numb.
I knew that day I had made a huge mistake. I wish
with all my heart I would have done things
- I had 4 abortions.
Due to one of them, my uterus was lacerated. I
will never deliver a child natural. My first
child delivered, Dillon Matthew, could not be
carried to full term because of my incompetent
cervix and uterus. My membranes apparently
ruptured at 24 ½ weeks gestation. My son died 13
weeks later. That was the most traumatic
experience Ive ever gone through
- After the first
abortion, I did get more depressed, I developed a
very angry character; I became very violent. The
second, I really didnt notice a change. By
the third I had a really low self-esteem and
after the fourth, I became extremely promiscuous
and self-destructive, throughout the years, with
each abortion, I became more and more depressed
and I gained more and more weight.
- What would you say
to a friend whos considering having an
PLEASE DONT! This is something that damages
a woman forever! You can never get over
it! Praise the Lord, one can get beyond, but
never over it.
- What has helped
you heal from the pain of your abortion?
Its just been the Lord and this gift of
- Abortion appeared
to be the only answer. At the clinic I was told
the procedure would be quick and safe, allowing
me to continue my activities the next day.
- I turned to the
nurse and told her I didnt think I could go
through with it. She held my hand, telling me it
would be over in a few minutes. Be fore I could
reply, the suction machine was turned on, causing
- I was frightened,
it hurt so much. I wanted to scream. I wanted it
to stop. I suddenly knew there was a baby inside.
They were killing my baby!
- Limping to the
recovery room I felt nauseated, weak and
defeated. I couldnt stop crying, and
neither could the other women there. My life was
irreversibly changed at that moment. I cried for
days and weeks eventually years. I felt so
dirty, so guilty, so unworthy to live.
- I could have died
from the operation and that my future ability to
carry a baby full term had been lessened.
- I would end up
sobbing in a corner, fearful I was going crazy.
It culminated one evening when I tried to cut my
wrists with a broken plate. This desperate act
scared me into getting help.
- Through counseling
I let go of my anger and accepted the forgiveness
that Jesus offers. Months later I forgave myself
and began to mourn the loss of my child.
- I never realized I
was going in for a surgery to have my baby
- Explain what the
abortion provider told you about other options.
They had never even mentioned the work
"Adoption." They would not have made
any money by doing that. Abortion is a business.
They had nothing to profit by giving me the help
I really needed.
- Dont believe
them. They want your money! Which ever decision
you choose between adoption or abortion you will
always wonder about that child, his or her looks,
personality, smile, character. I wonder those
things. You are a mother if you are pregnant. You
will still be a mother if you abort, only you
will be the mother of a dead baby! You have a
living growing baby in your womb. Give him life.
- Immediately after
my abortion I went to my job at a local fast food
restaurant. I proceeded to the restroom and
filled the toilet with blood. I was very, very
scared. I knew this was not normal. I knew my
periods werent like this. The cramping was
excruciating. The bleeding got worse. I believe
now when I look back, I was hemorrhaging. I had
blood clots the size of grapefruit. I bled like
that for two more days.
- It was as if we
were in an assembly-line, we were all waiting to
have our babies vacuumed out of our bellies. I
know how this has shattered lives.
- When the actual
procedure was over I felt very empty. It was
still a roller-coaster ride because of the
- Do you feel you
were lied to or deceived by the abortion
Absolutely! They were concerned about the money
We are not animals, we are human beings with a
conscience, with the ability to stay pure for the
person God has intended us to marry. I wish I
could have given my virginity to my husband whom
I truly adore. I felt violated and raped for
- Without the
Lords healing I would have a hard time
dealing with the blood on my hands. Abortion is
not a quick fix. Its not a bandage you can
put on the sore. When that bandage falls off, a
scar remains forever.
- Growing and
maturing in a relationship with God has taken the
pain from my past sins. Jesus alone is the only
healer of our hurts. Going through the grieving
process for my child, as you would for anyone
youve lost to death is very important. For
those that have had multiple abortions, your sin
is not worse than my abortion of one. Sin is sin.
Ask God for forgiveness, repent He sees
them no more.
- Dont believe
the lies! Everyone makes mistakes, but we can
take responsibility for them and make the right
choices. Choices we can truly live with and be
proud of. You who are reading this have had
abortion thrown in your faces your whole life.
You are precious and your aborted siblings and
peers were precious. You can change the world,
you can say enough is enough. You can say,
"LIFE IS OUR FIRST INALIENABLE RIGHT!" Stay
Pure and Stay Free.
|Susan Carpenter McMillan
- Susan Carpenter
McMillan, a long time feminist and activist,
received international acclaim in 1986 when she
spearheaded a campaign which gave "Baby
Jesse" a much needed heart transplant.
- Susan has been an
active media spokesperson since 1980, appearing
on more than 4,000 radio and television shows
ranging from Donahue to Politically Incorrect and
she has guest hosted CNN and other media
programs. Susan was also a commentator from 1991
to 1994 on KABC TV Channel 7 News.
- She was appointed
by the Board of Supervisors as a Commissioner on
the Los Angeles County Commission for Women,
where she currently heads the Los Angeles Rape
unrelenting determination to end all child
molestation is her greatest passion. In 1996 she
personally wrote and sponsored the first chemical
castration law to ever pass in the United States.
- I remember that
horrible day 21 years ago. The drive to the
abortion clinic, the waiting, the other women,
those last seconds of consciousness before the
anesthesia set in, lying alone on the gurney as I
placed my hands on my stomach and inwardly
screamed "Im sorry. Im so, so
sorry" As I drifted into unconsciousness, I
remembered feebly pulling the hospital gown down
and sliding it between my lets, semi-consciously
hoping that then they couldnt get to my
- My deep pain about
the unnecessary death of a child
It was like reading an obituary. Id close
my eyes and see this tiny helpless little baby6
peacefully floating in amniotic fluid, did it
struggle, did it die quickly
oh, how I hurt.
- My eldest
"Mom, you knew
I always wanted an older brother or sister, so
why did you kill them?
I had no answer.
- I know millions
and millions of women across this country feel as
I do about abortion, we all somehow know deep
down inside that we alone made a horrible
decision and no coined phrase about choice and
rights or the denial of biological and fetal
facts can ever erase the truth. For we as mothers
instinctively know during those still moments of
aloneness, that we ended the life of a separate
human being growing inside of each and every one
- I could find no
one to help me.
- Planned Parenthood
is a big lie! What happened to me was not
counseling, it was a plan to make money off my
mother and myself by lying and tricking us at a
very vulnerable time.
- Having sex before
marriage is the wrong move. It leads to all kinds
of problems. Avoid this by not having pre-marital
- I realized that my
baby would die a horrible death and I knew I
would be in pain both physically and mentally and
I knew this was wrong. Planned Parenthood told me
nothing about the saline abortion procedure but
the way it sounded, just the name itself
"saline", I knew I was in for the worst
experience of my life.
- The physical pain
of a saline abortion is very great. After being
injected with the saline, the pain begins. I felt
labor pains for approximately 16 to 18 hours,
there is never a moment when the pain stops. The
medication given to me to help the pain not only
didnt work but caused much vomiting and
- I felt so, so, so
- I really though I
loved the babys father but I dont
know if I was just with him because I was
desperate for someone to love. He wanted a sexual
relationship and I just gave in thinking I could
handle it, but I couldnt. After the
abortion I just didnt feel the same about
him anymore. He wanted to continue to have sex
and I was in too much pain (emotionally). We
stopped seeing each other and when I did see him
he would curse me out and call me a "baby
killer." He did that 2 times. One time when
I saw him at a party and another time when I saw
him at a bar. I believe he was very hurt to lose
a child to abortion. Im sure he felt like
he had no say in this decision. I believe, that
men can be emotionally traumatized by abortion.
- I can share that
as a result of that abortion it has been
difficult for me to get pregnant or carry a baby
to term. Now at the age of 39 my husband and I
are still in hopes that one day we will bear
- I remember coming
out of the anesthesia and being in tremendous
pain, lots of severe cramping. I moaned and
groaned because of the discomfort and the nurse
kept coming by and telling me to shut-up the
noise. The pain was so intense that I began
- I was deceived
because I was not told the truth about what an
abortion means to the life of an unborn baby. I
was not told that there were other options. I was
not told that at 10 weeks (which is when I had my
abortion) my child was already fully formed. I
was made to believe that I was doing something
that was as natural as going to the dentist for
- But there will
come a time when you will regret not knowing the
joy of raising your child. There is always a
reminder of what kind of person your child would
Now that I think
about it, it really was a selfish choice.