Pro-Life America |
Pam Stenzel's "Sex Has a Price Tag" - DVD Pam Stenzel's amazing chastity DVD
exposes a shocking Call (424) 247-7490 When you call, be sure to ask DVD Order info below... Satisfaction Guaranteed! If this DVD does not help end the
pressures to have sex, Pam Stenzel speaks to 20,000 high school and college students each month about sex and sexually transmitted diseases. She has also produced a powerful video/DVD called: "Sex Has A Price Tag."
Pam Shares Frightening Statistics with Students:
Here are quotes from Pam Stenzel on her "Sex Has a Price Tag" DVD Pam tells Her Story . . . You won't believe what I discovered during the nine years that I counseled girls who came into my pregnancy counseling offices in Chicago and Minneapolis. Most were worried sick about being pregnant. Very few were concerned about the venereal disease epidemic that is sweeping America. Girls would come to my office and say: "Pam, if I had known this was going to happen to me, I would have made a different choice. But no one told me." I began to ask these girls: "What could we have told you? What could someone have shared with you, before you made your choice?" After all those years I realized there are a lot of students making decisions about sex who have no idea what the consequences of their decisions will be. I am writing this so that none of you will ever again be able to say to a physician, a counselor, or to your future husband or wife: "Nobody told me. I didn't know." Girls Hope They're Off The Hook Most teens who are having sex are afraid of getting pregnant. Girls come into my office for pregnancy testing, and when I tell a girl her test is negative, she gets a look of relief over her face, as though to say: "I'm off the hook. I'm not pregnant. Let me out of your office." Wait a minute! Have you been tested for syphilis, gonorrhea, herpes, chlamydia, trichinoma, vulvadema, urethritis, hepatitis B, HPV or HIV? You have a four times greater chance of contracting a sexually-transmitted disease than you do of becoming pregnant. For nine years I've also had to tell hundreds of girls their tests were positive -- "You're pregnant." Immediately they want an easy, painless way out. I have to look at them and say: "Sorry. Your choices at this point are bad, terrible, and worse. You had a good choice before you chose to have sex. Now all of your choices are going to carry painful lifelong consequences." Abortion, Anorexia, Bulimia, Suicide There is no easy way out of pregnancy. Abortion is painful, destructive, and devastating. More than 80 percent of the women in our country who've had an abortion say that if they could go back, they would have chosen something different. Abortion isn't like going to the dentist and having a tooth pulled. I have counseled with hundreds of women -- five, ten, fifteen years after they had an abortion, who are still hurting physically, psychologically, and above all, spiritually. I've counseled teenagers with anorexia, bulimia, and depression -- including many who have attempted suicide because they had an abortion. Parenting a child isn't an easy choice either. Eight out of ten single teenage girls who choose to parent their children will live below the poverty level for at least ten years. Most stay there the rest of their lives. Nine out of ten will never attend college. These are girls who had goals, plans, things they might have liked to do with their lives after high school that they didn't get the chance to do because of their rash choice to have sex. Guys Pay Dearly Too Guys are also facing very serious consequences for having sex outside of marriage. Lawmakers are now holding young men in this country responsible for having sex and getting a girl pregnant. The fact is, guys, it can cost you tens of thousands of dollars over the next eighteen years. The state you live in has the legal right to take away a sizeable portion of your pay from your job to support the child you fathered. If you're not yet working, you'll go into debt. A young man I know who got a girl pregnant in Minnesota is being required by the State to pay $350 a month to support his little girl. That's based on his current income working at Burger King. "I made a decision one night after drinking," he said, "that I never would have made if I had been sober. And I will pay for that decision for the rest of my life." This is a very serious responsibility, young men. You need to think about that before you have sex, because after having sex, it's too late. Venereal Disease Epidemic Today, in the next 24 hours, 12,000 teenagers will contract a sexually transmitted disease (STD). And that's just teenagers. Looking at the entire population, there are about 50,000 people each day in our country who contract a sexually transmitted disease. Yesterday, 12,000 of them were teenagers who got up in the morning like some of you reading this, and said: "It's not going to happen to me. That happens in big cities, but not where I live." Wrong! Chlamydia Sterilizes In the 1950s there were only five sexually transmitted diseases that were known and treated. Today there are more than fifty types of STDs. Chlamydia is the number one STD among teens today. There are about 4,000 teenagers every day who contract chlamydia. This is a bacteria, not a virus. Unlike some venereal diseases, it can be cured. But more than 80 percent of the students who contract this disease do not realize they have it. If you contract chlamydia once in your life, you have a 25 percent chance of being sterile the rest of you life. If you get this disease more than once, the chances are much greater that you will never be able to have children. Outstanding Senior Guys At first, abstinence may sound negative, but it's a very positive choice that brings you freedom and peace of mind. Here's a good example . . . Five senior guys at a high school in Orlando, Florida, bought full-page ad in their yearbook. They put pictures of themselves with their prom dates in the ad. The headline reads: "True Love Waits" and goes on to say, "we are making a statement to our fellow classmates that we will never abuse women, use them for sport and dump them. We are choosing to save sex for our wives." Sex is not a game. But if you treat it like a game, it can have very harmful, long-term consequences. Sex was meant to be more than just a biological act. God meant sex to be a one-flesh experience -- the bonding of two people physically, emotionally, and spiritually for life. When you abuse sex it doesn't just damage your body, it damages you, and it damages your partner. Order Pam's Dynamic DVD Pam has a dynamic DVD of her eye-opening Sex Has A Price Tag presentation. Her message is compelling and unforgetable. Every high school and college student should see this video. It's one of the best tools available to help kids save sex for marriage.Great for churches, schools and youth groups! (A) Faith Based version: $29.00 (B) Public School version: $39.00 (Prices include shipping and handling) Order Pam Stenzel DVD with Check by mail, or with Credit Card by phone To order Pam's powerful DVD, "Sex Has A Price Tag," please send your check to Pro-Life America and let us know which version you want...either (a) Faith Based or (b) Public School version MAKE
CHECK PAYABLE
to: Mail your check and order to: Pro-Life America Pam Stenzel Video Dept. 1840 S. Elena Ave., # 103 Redondo Beach, CA 90277 For quicker service, you can
call our California office Order Pam Stenzel's DVD Call (424) 247-7490 When you call, be sure to ask Is "SAFE SEX" really safe? What about the emotional and psychological dangers? Portions of the following article have been adapted from: "Sex, Love and You: Making the Right Decision" A book by Thomas Lickona, Ph.D. Co-authored by Judith Lickona and William J. Boudreau, M.D. Premarital Sex: 10 areas to consider... 1) Worries about Pregnancy, AIDS and other Venereal Diseases, 2) Regretting Bad Decisions for years 3) Feelings of Guilt 4) Loss of Self-Respect, 5) Corrupting of Your Character, 6) Shaken Trust and Fear of Future Commitment, 7) Rage over Betrayal, 8) Depression and Suicide, 9) Poisoned Relationships, and 10) Stunted Personal Development. If you're struggling with any of these worrisome stresses, you know how painful they can be... There is no condom for
the heart... Much is said about worries of getting pregnant and the dangers of venereal diseases -- but far less is said about the emotional hazards and the broken hearts. That's a problem. The destructive psychological consequences of temporary sexual relationships are VERY REAL. Being aware of them can help you make decisions you won't regret. That's not to say we should downplay the physical dangers of uncommitted sex. Pregnancy is a life-changing event. Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) - and there are now more than 50 STDs (according to the CDC) - can rob you of your health and even your life. Condoms don't remove these dangers. Studies have shown condoms to have an annual failure rate of 10 percent to 36 percent in preventing pregnancy because of human error in using them and because they sometimes leak, break, or slip off. So how safe can condoms be when it comes to AIDS? In a 1993 analysis of 11 different medical studies, condoms were found to have a 31% average failure rate in preventing the sexual transmission of the AIDS virus. Again, that's a 31% failure rate for protecting against a deadly disease! Important Note: Condoms do little or nothing to protect against the two STDs infecting at least one-third (1/3) of sexually active teenage girls. The two venereal diseases are: 1) Human Papilloma Virus (HPV is the leading cause of cervical cancer and it kills about 7,000 women each year), and 2) Chlamydia (the leading cause of infertility) Both of these venereal diseases can be transmitted by skin-to-skin contact in the entire genital area, only a small part of which is covered by the condom. Are you warned about this when condoms are promoted as tools for "safe sex" by teachers or in TV ads? And what about broken hearts? The relative silence in America about the emotional elements of sex is ironic. It's the emotional dimension of sex that makes it distinctively human. What in fact are the painful emotional or psychological consequences of premature, uncommitted sex? Personal testimonies tell us the consequences are devastating. The consequences can vary from person to person. Sometimes, emotional consequences may be short-term, but still serious. Others can last a very long time and cause marital and parenting problems. For some, the emotional and psychological consequences of pre-marital sex was hard to foresee. Many people experience painful breakups and long-lasting -- sometimes life-long -- heartaches . . . For many sexually active young people, the fear of becoming pregnant or getting AIDS is a major emotional stress. Russell Henke, health education coordinator in Montgomery County, Maryland says, "I see kids going to the nurse's office in schools, crying a day after their first sexual experience, and wanting to be tested for AIDS. They have done it, and now they are terrified. For some of them, that's enough. They say, "I don't want to have to go through that experience anymore." A high school girl told a nurse: "I see some of my friends buying home pregnancy tests, and they are so worried and so distracted every month, afraid that they might be pregnant. It's a relief to me to be a virgin." Girls, especially, need to know in advance the sharp regret that so many young women feel after becoming sexually involved. Says one high school girl: "I get upset when I see my friends losing their virginity to some guy they've just met. Later, after the guy's dumped them, they come to me and say, "I wish I hadn't done it." A ninth-grade girl who slept with eight boys in junior high says, "I'm young, but I feel old." Girls are more vulnerable than boys because girls are more likely to think of sex as a way to "show you care." They're more likely to see sex as a sign of commitment in the relationship. If a girl expects a sexual interlude to be loving, she may very well feel cheated and used when the boy doesn't show a greater romantic interest after the event. As one 15-year-old girl describes her experience: "I didn't expect the guy to marry me, but I never expected him to avoid me in school." He dropped Sandy after sex . . . Bob Bartlett, who teaches a freshman sexuality class in a Richfield, Minn., high school, shares the following story of regret on the part of one of his students whom we'll call "Sandy" . . . Sandy, a bright and pretty girl, asked to see Mr. Bartlett during her lunch period. She explained that she had never had a boyfriend, so she was excited when a senior asked her out. After they dated for several weeks, the boy asked her to have sex with him. She was reluctant; he was persistent. She was afraid of appearing immature and losing him, so she consented. "Did it work?" Mr. Bartlett asked gently. "Did you keep him?" Sandy replied: "For another week. We had sex again, and then he dropped me. He said I wasn't good enough. There was no spark. "I know what you're going to say. I take your class. I know now that he didn't really love me. I feel so stupid, so cheap." Sandy hoped, naively, that sex would have helped her keep the guy. Feeling trapped after sex . . . Here is another high school girl, writing to an advice column about a different kind of regret. She wishes she could lose the guy she's involved with, but she feels trapped by their sexual relationship: "I am 16, a junior in high school, and like nearly all the other girls here, I have already lost my virginity. Although most people consider this subject very personal, I feel the need to share this part of my life with girls who are trying to decide whether to have sex for the first time. Sex does not live up to the glowing reports and hype you see in the movies. It's no big deal. In fact, it's pretty disappointing. I truly regret that my first time was with a guy that I didn't care that much about. I am still going out with him, which is getting to be a problem. I'd like to end this relationship and date others, but after being so intimate, it's awfully tough. Since that first night, he expects sex on every date, like we are married or something. When I don't feel like it, we end up in an arguement. It's like I owe it to him. I don't think this guy is in love with me, at least he's never said so. I know deep down that I am not in love with him either, and this makes me feel sort of cheap. I realize now that this is a very big step in a girl's life. After you've done it, things are never the same. It changes everything. My advice is, don't be in such a rush. It's a headache and a worry. (Could I be pregnant?) Sex is not for entertainment. It should be a commitment. Be smart and save yourself for someone you wouldn't mind spending the rest of your life with." She still regrets her promiscuous travels abroad . . . Regret over uncommitted sexual relationships can last for years. I recently received a letter from a 33-year-old woman, now a psychiatrist, who is very much concerned about the sexual pressures and temptations facing young people today. She wanted to share the lessons she had learned about sex the hard way. After high school, she says, she spent a year abroad as an exchange student: "I was a virgin when I left, but I felt I was protected. I had gotten an IUD so I could make my own decisions if and when I wanted. I had steeled myself against commitment. I was never going to marry or have children; I was going to have a career. During that year abroad, from 17 1/2 to 18 1/2, I was very promiscuous. But the fact is, it caused me to be separated from myself. The longest-standing and deepest wound I gave myself was heartfelt. That sick, used feeling of having given a precious part of myself - my soul - to so many and for nothing, still aches. I never imagined I'd pay so dearly and for so long." This woman still carries the emotional scars of those early sexual experiences. She wants young people to know that "sex without commitment is very risky for the heart." Guilt is a special form of regret - a strong sense of having done something morally wrong. Guilt is a normal and healthy moral response, a sign that one's conscience is working. In his book for teenagers, Love, Dating, and Sex, George Eager tells the story of a well-known speaker who was addressing a high school assembly. The speaker was asked, "What do you most regret about your high school days?" He answered, "The thing I most regret about high school is the time I single-handedly destroyed a girl." Eager offers this advice to young men: "When the breakup comes, it's usually a lot tougher on the girls than it is on the guys. It's not something you want on your conscience - that you caused a girl to have deep emotional problems." One 16-year-old boy says he stopped having sex with girls when he saw and felt guilty about the pain he was causing: "You see them crying and confused. They say they love you, but you don't love them." Even in an age of sexual liberation, a lot of people who are having sex nevertheless have a guilty conscience about it. The guilt may come, as in the case of the young man just quoted, from seeing the hurt you've caused other people. The guilt may come from knowing that your parents would be upset if they knew you were having sex. Or it may stem from your religious convictions. Christianity, Judaism, and Islam, for example, all teach that sex is a gift from God reserved for marriage and that sexual relations outside marriage are morally wrong. Sometimes guilt about their sexual past ends up crippling people when they become parents by keeping them from advising their own children not to become sexually involved. According to counselor Dr. Carson Daly: "Because these parents can't bear to be considered hypocrites, or to consider themselves hypocrites, they don't give their children the sexual guidance they very much need." Many people suffer a loss of self-esteem when they find out they have a sexually transmitted disease. For example, according to the Austin, Texas-based Medical Institute for Sexual Health, more than 80 percent of people with herpes say they feel 'less confident" and "less desirable sexually." But even if a person is fortunate enough to escape sexually transmitted disease, temporary sexual relationships can lower the self-respect of both the user and the used. Sometimes casual sex lowers self-esteem, leading a person into further casual sex, which leads to further loss of self-esteem in an oppressive cycle from which it may be hard to break free. This pattern is described by a college senior, a young woman who works as a residence hall director: "There are girls in our dorm who have had multiple pregnancies and multiple abortions. They tend to be filled with self-loathing. But because they have so little self-esteem, they will settle for any kind of attention from guys. So they keep going back to the same kind of destructive situations and relationships that got them into trouble in the first place." On both sides of dehumanized sex, there is a loss of dignity and self-worth. One 20-year-old college male confides: "You feel pretty crummy when you get drunk at a party and have sex with some girl, and then the next morning you can't even remember who she was." Another college student describes the loss of self-respect that followed his first sexual "conquest": "I finally got a girl into bed - actually it was in a car - when I was 17. I thought it was the hottest thing there was, but then she started saying she loved me and getting clingy. I figured out that there had probably been a dozen guys before me who thought they had "conquered" her, but who were really just objects of her need for security. That realization took all the wind out of my sails. I couldn't respect someone who gave in as easily as she did. "I was amazed to find that after four weeks of having sex as often as I wanted, I was tired of her. I didn't see any point in continuing the relationship. I finally dumped her, which made me feel even worse, because I could see that she was hurting. I felt pretty low." People aren't things. When we treat them as if they were, we not only hurt them; we lose respect for ourselves.
|
Teens Talk About Regrets After Sex Teen Quotes from... "Boyfriends: Getting Them, Keeping Them, Living Without Them," A book by Joyce L. Vedral, Ph.D. Following are excerpts from her book. These are actual quotes from teenage girls and boys:
How do girls feel the day after the first time they have sex with their boyfriends? For a girl, even in the nineties, the decision to have sex remains a big one. Once a girl makes that decision, she enters a new world - often, a very scary one. I asked girls to tell me honestly exactly how they felt the day after they first had sex with their boyfriends . . . She said:
Why do Guys often drop a Girl soon after having sex with her? I asked guys if they had ever dropped a girlfriend shortly after having sex with her, and if so, why. He said:
Being dropped after having sex - Girls Tell All . . . I asked girls whose boyfriends had dropped them shortly after sex with them to share their feelings with you. She said:
It's not always the Guy who drops the Girl!! In some cases, it's not the guy who drops the girl but the girl who drops the guy soon after having sex. Why? She said:
How does sex change the relationship? Girls' Point of View! Even if sex does not end a relationship, it always changes it - but how? I asked girls to tell me what changes they had experienced after sleeping with their boyfriends. She said:
How does sex change a relationship? Guys' Point of View He said:
Once you've said yes, do you have to keep having sex? What about saying no once you've lost your virginity? Does a girl have to keep having sex with future boyfriends once she's had sex in the past? She said:
Girls share more thoughts on pre-marital sex . . . She said:
Guys' advice - to Girls - On when to start having sex . . . He said:
Order Pam Stenzel's Amazing DVD "Sex Has a Price Tag" Pam has a dynamic DVD of her eye-opening Sex Has A Price Tag presentation. Her message is compelling and unforgetable. Every high school and college student should see this video. It's one of the best tools available to help kids save sex for marriage.Great for churches, schools and youth groups! Faith Based version: $29.00 Public School version: $39.00 (Prices include shipping and handling) Get Pam Stenzel DVD via Check by mail, or by Credit Card Call (424) 247-7490 When you call, be sure to ask To order Pam's powerful DVD, "Sex Has A Price Tag," please send your check to Pro-Life America and let us know which version you want...either (a) Faith Based or (b) Public School version MAKE YOUR CHECK PAYABLE to: Pro-Life America Mail your check and order to: Pro-Life America Pam Stenzel Video Dept. 1840 S. Elena Ave., # 103 Redondo Beach, CA 90277 For quicker service, you can call our California office and order with a CREDIT CARD by phone. Order Pam Stenzel's DVD Call (424) 247-7490 When you call, be sure to ask |
Pam Stenzel's Dynamic DVD Pam has a dynamic DVD of her eye-opening Sex Has A Price Tag presentation.Her message is compelling and unforgetable. Every high school and college student should see this video. It's one of the best tools available to help kids save sex for marriage. Great for churches, schools and youth groups! (A) Faith Based version: $29.00 (B) Public School version: $39.00 (Prices include shipping and handling) Order Pam Stenzel DVD with Check by mail, or by Credit Card Call (424) 247-7490 When you call, be sure to ask To order Pam's powerful DVD, "Sex Has A Price Tag," please send your check to Pro-Life America and let us know which version you want...either (a) Faith Based or (b) Public School version MAKE YOUR
CHECK PAYABLE
to: Mail your check and order to: Pro-Life America Pam Stenzel Video Dept. 1840 S. Elena Ave., # 103 Redondo Beach, CA 90277 For quicker service, you can
call our California office Order Pam Stenzel DVD by Phone Call (424) 247-7490 When you call, be sure to ask |